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Captain Green Beard the Stinky

Captain Green Beard the Stinky is a picture book story about a ferocious pirate captain with a very stinky beard and a crew who is terrified of him.

Monkey Boy Bob is one of the crew and he discovers that the Captain has a terrible secret.

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“Listen to me Polly, I have to talk.

If it doesn’t come out, I’ll explode with a SQUAWK!”

“It’s that mean old Captain, the one with the beard.

We know he’s bad, but even worse he’s weird.

 

Nobody knows his deep dark secret.

If I tell you will you promise to keep it?”

“You see, it’s the beard that’s causing the trouble…

Oh, here he comes; swab the deck on the double!

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 “Woss this ere’ dog a whisperin’ for?

Up to no good while ee’ washin’ the floor?”

“Who me? No sir, please don’t despair.

I was singing a song about smelly underwear.”

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The pirates all charged and captured the ship.

Greenbeard had them in his monstrous grip.

“Where be the treasure, you snivelling crows?”

“No treasure but shampoo that we carry belows.”

 

“Shampoo, Shampoo?” yelled Greenbeard disgusted.

“Even honest seamen cannot be trusted.”

“I know below decks there be buckets of treasure,

Gold and jewels just for my pleasure.”

 

“I’ll look for myself, down in the hold.

You’ll see I’m no fool, I can smell gold.”

Greenbeard stomped over to the hatch in the deck

Where he leaned right over to peer in and check.

 

“It’s time to finish that Captain Greenbeard

And reveal the secret of why he is weird.”

“A bath in shampoo will do the trick.

Go on Polly, give him a kick.”